Self-Doubt Kills Creativity

It’s been incredible to see the response and outpouring of love that I’ve received from my last post. Every time I go to share a piece of my writing, a part of me feels so excited, while another part of me is very fearful and worries about what others will think. This, my friends, can be a killer of creativity, stopping someone right in their tracks when they have something very special to share with the world.

I find it so intriguing how I can spend hours pouring my soul into something, and then wonder whether it is “good enough” or not.. how can it not be after containing so much heart?

Something really interesting happened the other day. Someone was complimenting my story, and while looking at me so purely and whole-heartedly, they asked “where did you learn to write like that?”

I was kind of stunned for a moment, because noone has ever asked me that before.

I told them, “Just from me. I’ve written ever since I was little.”

And rather than feeling like I had missed something- it felt like the most concrete and impressive education I could ever have had.

The whole day I thought a lot about this dialogue, and how interesting it was that it stuck out to me so much. I felt like I must really in fact be a good writer, if someone thought I had learned this in school. Why did it mean so much and give me validation, when I have always deep down known my own worth?

I realized that a big subconscious belief of many of us is that in order to really excel at something, we must be certified, degreed, trained, licensed, taught by a system, etc in that thing.

What a wild thought process. But this is the way most of us think, and how most of us put value into ourselves. There is more importance placed on learning and refining a skill rather than cultivating and nourishing an innate gift and talent. Our society is super success driven and often defines worth based on a long list of education and “experience.”

Yet simultaneously, we all know the success stories of those who have followed their heart and taken the road less traveled, sharing the things that they have just had an affinity with since the beginning.

You can’t wait for the world to put value into what you do. You have to claim it for yourself.

I now know that I became a writer when I first learned how to read and form sentences. Since I began to understand my emotions and began to feel things. Since I got my first diary and journal. Since life began to shape-shift around me and I needed a way to translate and understand it all. Since words began to stir something within me, bringing bumps to my skin and tears out my eyes. Since childhood when my mom would let me pick out a book during especially hard days she was all out of advice for. Ever since the spines of certain books began to jump out at me when they had a certain message to give. Since the very beginning.

And this whole time, I have wondered whether I was a good writer. All I needed to do was change who I was asking.

How dare we ever wonder whether what we have to give is good enough. If it is rooted in authenticity, coming from the heart- it is incredible.

Don't wait for others to accept or applaud your work before you deem it as magnificent. Own your value, own your craft.